Time Management for Single Mommies

By Rosanna Cooper, Single Parenting Column

Who Has Time for That? This phrase is probably the one that spends the most time in a single parent’s head. For me, I’m not even talking about time to start a new business or get another degree. I’m referring to making up my bed before leaving the house in the morning.

Yesterday, I sent a follower request Twitter to a business owner in my office building. She sent a message stating I should come by some time. I responded I work in the building and often run into her at the Chinese restaurant during lunch. My mind immediately went back to a question my boyfriend asked me Saturday, “Did you ever find a new hair stylist?” At that moment, I realized the owner did not recognize me because the pictures on my Twitter and website were often not who she saw. 

 I went from always making sure my hair, make-up and clothes were always “perfect” for appearances to pulling my hair back into a pony tail happy to be walking out of the house in time. While I agree the way you look on the outside is not the most important thing in the world, looking good gives me extra energy and makes me feel even better to be the wonderful me that I am.

I would sit and list the things we all hear about how to be most effective with your time but I would rather be realistic. For instance, I often write off my to-do list and list them by priorities. Unfortunately, I never add things like eat dinner so I never make it to my list. By the time I get home from work, cook (or pick up) dinner, and spend a little time with my son, it is time to put him to bed. I lay down for a little while to relax and I fall asleep. Therefore, I’m proposing a new way to manage your time.

1. Enjoy life! – Life is short and time with your kids is even shorter. Take them to Chuck E. Cheese, get a lot of extra coins and play some of the games yourself. There are only parents there so no one will judge.
2. Make time for yourself. – If the other parent takes the child for any length at time, treat yourself before Spring Cleaning. If money is a concern, catch a matinee or go searching for treasures in the clearance section. You need to revitalize yourself in order to get through the daily challenges that are thrown your way as a parent 
3. Breathe and Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – We all screw up. I love making omelets, pancakes, and fresh fruit for breakfast but will admit to once letting my son eat popcorn. (I REALLY needed extra sleep.) We all make mistakes, often huge ones. If it won’t affect your child in the long run, cough it up to a learning experience. I enjoy making mistakes in front of my son and use them as teaching moments. Life isn’t about being perfect but taking sensible risk to obtain major rewards. If it doesn’t work out, learn from it and move on.

Rosanna Cooper is a single mother of one fabulous little boy.  As Mrs. North Carolina Essence 2011, she went on a national tour sharing her story of living with Lupus.